You’re Not Terminally Unique—You’re Just Human (and Fiercely Original)
- Dr. Jude Black
- Apr 1
- 3 min read
Let’s talk about the lie that keeps too many of us stuck, silent, and suffering:Terminal uniqueness.
Ever heard that phrase before? It’s not clinical, but it is one heck of a truth bomb.
Terminal uniqueness is that voice inside your head that whispers:
“No one else gets this.”
“I’m too messed up to be helped.”
“Sure, therapy might work for others—but I’m the exception.”
It’s the seductive myth that your pain is so unique, your story so tragic, your wiring so off, that healing just isn’t for you.
Let me say this loud for the people in the back:That is complete BS.
Yes, your story is unique. Your trauma is real. The chaos, the heartbreak, the resilience? Fiercely yours. But the feelings underneath it all—grief, fear, loneliness, shame, rage, hope?
They’re universal. They’re human. They’re what connect us.
When you believe you’re terminally unique, you isolate. You armor up. You sit at the edge of the room thinking no one can possibly understand. And in doing so, you stay stuck.
“Terminal uniqueness is the lie that tells us we’re alone when we’re most desperate to be seen.”
Here’s the truth I need you to grab onto:
You are not terminally unique. You are beautifully, wildly, and unapologetically human.
There’s a big difference.
Being fiercely original? That’s your birthright. But being so rare that no one could possibly understand you? That’s fear dressed up in fancy clothes. That’s trauma telling you connection is dangerous. That’s shame trying to keep you quiet.
And I call BS on that too.
So what do we do with this?
We tell the truth.Start by saying it out loud—even if your voice shakes. Therapy is a safe place to begin that. (Not sure where to start? Here’s how therapy actually works.)
We find our people.You need safe, solid humans who can hold space for your mess. Not fix it. Just get it. That’s why community matters. And yes, that includes your therapist.
We stop comparing pain.Just because someone else had it “worse” doesn’t make your hurt less valid. Pain isn’t a competition.
We drop the terminal. Keep the unique.Own your story. Honor your voice. But don’t isolate in your suffering.
If you’re nodding along and thinking, “This is me”—good. That means you’re waking up. You're ready to step off the pedestal of pain and back into the messy, beautiful human race.
Want more on this? Check out "Bless our hearts- we only know what we know- until we know"
And if you're finally ready to say, “I don’t want to do this alone anymore,” we’re here. At Appalachian Counseling Center, we hold space for the untold stories.
We listen. We walk with you. We believe healing starts by telling the truth.
Final thought?Let’s make sense of life’s messes together.
Be you. Do you. The rest will follow.
And if people don’t like it? Dadgum them all—but with grace.
🌟 About the Author: Dr. Jude Black is a clinical trauma psychotherapist, founder of Appalachian Counseling Center, and your go-to truth-teller when the shame gremlins start whispering that no one could possibly understand your mess. A 30+ year military spouse with 19 moves under her belt and enough war stories to fill a vault, she’s made a career out of helping people realize they’re not broken—they’re just human. Dr. Jude believes your story is sacred, your pain is valid, and your healing begins the moment you stop pretending you're the exception. You’re not terminally unique. You’re fiercely original—and that’s enough.
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