Signs you are dating a narcissist.
- Dr. Jude Black
- Oct 29, 2020
- 4 min read
Is Your Fairytale Actually a Nightmare? 7 Signs You’re Dealing with a Narcissist
If you’re reading this, you probably already know that "Happily Ever After" comes with a side of chaos and complications. One of the biggest plot twists? Realizing your so-called Prince Charming is actually a narcissist in disguise.
I get asked all the time: "How do I know if my person is a narcissist?" The easiest answer? Ask them. I have never met a narcissist who doesn’t subscribe to the belief, "I am all that."
But if that feels too simple, let’s dig a little deeper.
Important Note: While we use "Prince Charming Not" (PCN) as a reference here, narcissists can be of any gender. Women can absolutely fit the mold of "Princess Charming Not," and for the sake of discussion, these roles are interchangeable.
A Quick Dive into Narcissism
The word narcissist comes from Greek mythology. Narcissus was a ridiculously good-looking young man obsessed with his own reflection. No one else could capture his heart—until he saw himself in a pool of water. Poor guy sat there, staring, waiting for his reflection to love him back...until he withered away and died.
Sounds dramatic? Sure. But the real-life version is just as exhausting.
Psychologists recognize healthy narcissism—those little "I love me" moments we all have. But the problem starts when someone crosses into full-blown narcissistic territory, where manipulation, entitlement, and a relentless need for validation become their default setting.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) defines Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as:
A pattern of grandiosity, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration.
Sound familiar? Let’s break it down further.
Common Narcissistic Traits
🔹 Inflated sense of self-importance (exaggerated talents and achievements).
🔹 A belief that they are special and unique—only understood by or deserving of high-status people.
🔹 Preoccupied with fantasies of beauty, brilliance, power, ideal love, or unlimited success.
🔹 Obsessed with winning at all costs.
🔹 Needs constant admiration (or else!).
🔹 Expects special treatment without question.
🔹 Manipulates others to meet their goals.
🔹 Zero empathy (because, honestly, they just don’t care).
🔹 Assumes people are jealous of them (or they envy others who have what they want).
🔹 Arrogant, condescending, and dismissive toward anyone they see as "less than."
So, how do these behaviors show up in relationships? Let’s talk about the 7 big red flags that your fairytale is actually a horror story.
7 Signs Your Fairytale is a Bust
✨ 1. You’re Treated Like a Princess... At First
PCN (Prince Charming Not) will love-bomb you. He'll will shower you with attention, gifts, and promises of forever—until he knows you’re hooked. Then? The switch flips. Suddenly, you have to earn his affection. And guess what? You’ll never quite measure up.
✨ 2. PCN Treats the "Common Folk" Like Dirt
Watch how he treats people who can’t do anything for him—waiters, cashiers, strangers. If he only respects people he considers "important," that means he values status over character.
✨ 3. The Spotlight Is Always on Him
If you’re in his orbit, you may bask in his glow—when it suits him. But make no mistake:
🌟 His needs come first.
🌟 His achievements are bigger, better, and more important than yours.
🌟 Piss him off? You’re punished with silent treatment, manipulation, or being replaced.
✨ 4. Friends & Family? Irrelevant
PCN doesn’t like competition for your attention. He will subtly (or aggressively) isolate you from anyone who might challenge his control.
"Why do you spend so much time with them? I thought you loved me."
"They just don’t understand us."
"I don’t trust them. You shouldn’t either."
Suddenly, it’s just you and PCN, locked in his twisted fairytale.
✨ 5. PCN Has a Trail of Exes—And It’s Always Their Fault
PCN rarely maintains long-term friendships or relationships (unless it benefits him). Exes? "Crazy." Family? "Toxic."
💭 Translation: Anyone who saw through his BS was discarded.
✨ 6. The Mirror Only Reflects Him
Sure, he complimented you at first. But now?
💎 It’s all about him.
💎 His wants, his needs, his image.
💎 Your feelings? Barely an afterthought.
"Mirror, mirror on the wall... PCN doesn’t share at all."
✨ 7. PCN is Your Poison Apple
You start feeling drained, confused, stuck. You try to make PCN happy, but somehow, you always fail.
So what happens? He dangles just enough affection to pull you back in—only to knock you down again.
This cycle is designed to keep you off balance, doubting yourself, and dependent on him.
Time to Look in the Crystal Ball...
If PCN has an inflated sense of self, a fantasy obsession, zero empathy, and a habit of treating people like disposable accessories...
RUN.
Odds are, you’ll be stuck in a never-ending cycle of manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional exhaustion.
You deserve better.
Final Thoughts
Relationships are supposed to lift you up, not drain you dry. If you find yourself constantly justifying bad behavior, feeling confused, or losing yourself in a relationship, take a step back.
Love shouldn’t feel like a trap.
And if Prince Charming turns out to be Prince Narcissist? It’s time to close that chapter and start writing a new story—one where YOU are the main character. 💙
Have you ever dealt with a narcissist? Drop a comment and let’s talk.
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